A Land That Isn't Ours
by GengaJupite
Summary: When rifts start appearing in the space-time continuum, the Golden Sun crew can't seem to avoid getting sucked into parallel, alternate, future, and whatever other kinds of universes there may be. Looks like it'll be one heck of a ride, but where did Ivan and Garet end up?
1. S-M: The Land of Green

Ah, Golden Sun, how long it has been since last I entered the fandom that you are. My heart doth beat rapidly at the very idea of writing for you once again, though I still have yet to complete my other main stories. Woe is me that these tasks taketh far longer than I wished, but alas such is the life of one who has not the time to write with such haste he once had for _What is Happiness?_

Yeah, I'm not sure how many people are still waiting for that WiH-related story I mentioned at the end of it, but I can't really start it until at least one of my other stories is finished. Once those two are completed, I won't be making a set update schedule for my stories; that way I don't have to stress about getting my work completed for a certain date. If I'd done that, I'd be writing about 497234 stories at once right now, but that's not the case.

Anyway, I seem to keep coming up with random ideas for GS stories, so bear with me that I have no clue what the hell is going on in my brain. This series of oneshots could either work or just not work at all, but I'm just gonna roll with it and see what people think!

Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun. All rights go to Nintendo and Camelot.

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_**A Land That Isn't Ours**_

_S-M: The Land of Green_

The air was awfully silent as the warriors plummeted to their inevitable deaths. Rather than the expected sound of wind rushing past their accelerating bodies, only the rustling of their clothing could be heard. From above, the golden light of Venus lighthouse's lit beacon shone brightly, shining down the well like a light at the end of a tunnel.

Saturos smiled morbidly as he watched the opening of the well shrink in size. How ridiculous that he, the most powerful man in all of Prox, could be defeated by children. Even with the aid of his equally powerful partner, Menardi, the extra boost of psynergy from the lighthouse, and even the last resort of the dragon form, he could not overcome the might of four mere children.

He felt as though he were losing his mind when he turned and laughed at the sight of Menardi plummeting a short distance away from him. No blood seeped from either of the warriors' wounds, but they were clearly battered, and Menardi must have passed out after they fell. Perhaps she was already dead, but he had no way of knowing, and simply laughed harder. They'd failed in their mission, and now it was left up to Felix the weakling and good-for-nothing Alex to save the people of Prox.

Saturos looked downwards, but couldn't see the bottom of the lighthouse anywhere. It seemed as though they would simply fall forever, never reaching a ground to die upon, and would instead die of starvation in the event that his mortal wounds didn't kill him. He couldn't even fathom how he'd managed to stay alive, but he was fully conscious, if not a bit delirious from his fatigue during this hopeless situation.

"Heh, how pathetic," he snorted, pulling out his blade for no particular reason. "This was not the hero's death I'd expected. I always believed I would die by the hand of a worthy opponent's blade."

For no better reason than that he simply had nothing better to do, Saturos maneuvered his way over to Menardi and grabbed hold of her before jabbing his blade into the side of the lighthouse's well. He had no more use for his sword, so it didn't matter to him that it would snap at some point. He cackled as the flame-empowered sword left fire in its wake, unable to slow their descent in the slightest due to their ridiculous velocity. With a twanging sound, the blade snapped, leaving the Proxian with naught but a handle. With a twisted look in his eye, he unequipped Menardi's scythe and repeated the process, laughing stupidly as the scythe left even larger flames in its wake before snapping.

He knew that he would lose his mind if they continued falling forever, but he was surprised when he saw something below them. Perhaps he'd already lost his mind, for it didn't appear to be the ground, but instead it looked like…the top of the lighthouse?

Confused by the fact that they now seemed to be falling upwards, Saturos twisted his neck to see the distant speck of light that they'd fallen down quite some time ago. Turning back to look at whatever they were approaching, he could now see that it wasn't the bottom of the well, but rather a shimmering light that had tricked him into thinking it was the golden light of Venus' beacon. However, this light was different in that it seemed to be inside the well, not above – or in this case below – the opening.

"Menardi," he spoke aloud, despite knowing that his companion was unconscious, "I know not where this light will take us, but whatever happens I'm proud to have had you as a partner."

Tightening his hold on the female warrior, Saturos closed his eyes and braced himself for what would come. If the moment could be seen from afar, it would easily resemble the scene from _Lord of the Rings_ in which Gandalf and the Balrog are plummeting down the chasm, except that instead of a lake at the bottom of the hole, it was a blinding light that quickly engulfed them…

After a few minutes had passed, Saturos knew that he hadn't died, for he had felt no impact, and he could still feel Menardi's limp body in his arms. In fact, he seemed to be standing on his feet, and the sound of birds chirping had replaced the rustling of their clothes. He no longer felt the wind whipping past his face, and he swore he could feel the warmth of Sol touching his scales. Wondering where he could have ended up, the Proxian opened his eyes to take in the scenery of this new place.

He appeared to be standing in some sort of field, and all around him was a lush, green landscape. The clear skies greeted him in a way that Prox had not seen in years, and he began to doubt that he was still alive. Perhaps the light he saw had been an illusion of his broken mind, and he and Menardi had simply collided with the base of the lighthouse.

Deciding it would be best to put Menardi on the ground, Saturos gingerly laid her down before realizing that his wounds were completely gone. He examined his unmarred scales and flesh with awe, only further causing him to believe he'd died. There was no way he could miraculously heal by falling through some sort of portal!

Numerous loud rumbling sounds caused the warrior to whip around to see where they were coming from, but they only added to his awe and confusion. He took a few steps back at the sight that his unbelieving eyes beheld.

Large, metallic carts of some sort sped by at unfathomable speeds, and he couldn't seem to keep his gaze focused on just one, for many sped by. The wheels were not wooden as he was accustomed to seeing, but rather some sort of thick, black material that rolled beneath the vehicle. Not only that, but these strange carts seemed to be riding on some sort of smooth, rocky surface that contrasted the lush grass he was standing upon.

He jumped in shock as one of these carts made a loud noise of some sort, followed by what sounded like the angry shouting of a person.

"What sorcery is this?!" he growled to himself, wondering how a person could possibly ride in a cart moving at such high speeds.

He was relieved, however, to know that there were people here. Perhaps he wasn't dead; after all, he imagined that the afterlife wouldn't look quite the way this place did, and if there were others here, perhaps he could get some answers.

Menardi began to stir, and he quickly averted his gaze from the strange carts to his companion. Just as he was, her wounds had completely healed and she showed no visible signs of ever having fought Isaac and the others.

"Saturos?" she groaned, sitting up and squinting as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of this area. "Are we dead?"

"I can't say for sure," he chuckled wryly, "but I don't think we are."

"Hmm," she said, looking around the immediate area. "Where are we? This doesn't look like any land we've been to. And what in Luna's name are those?!" she shouted, pointing a finger to the carts he'd been examining.

"I believe they're carts of some sort," Saturos answered flatly, not bothering to help his companion up. "Though I've never seen anything like them, and they travel at such ridiculous speeds."

The two warriors stood like that for quite some time, examining the carts whizzing past the field. It was truly fascinating to see something travelling at such a velocity, and there seemed to be no shortage of these carts at all. Whether they were near some sort of merchant village, the Proxians knew not, but neither of them could fathom why so many of these vehicles were going by.

The sight of a boy caught Saturos' eye, and he watched as the boy walked alongside the surface that the carts sped along. This boy must've had some courage to walk so near to what appeared to be a hazardous area.

An idea popped into Saturos' head as the boy began getting closer to them. This was the first person they'd seen since arriving, and if he was going to get answers, this lone boy was the perfect person to interrogate. Of course, he had to be wary that this courageous fellow didn't have some sort of weapon to defeat him with; this _was_ the boy's home turf, after all. Then again, he looked about the same age as Felix, and didn't appear to be proficient in any sort of psynergy, let alone fighting skills.

Without telling Menardi what he was up to, Saturos quickly marched towards the boy while remaining cautious of the carts.

"Hey, you there!" he shouted, though attempting not to seem hostile.

"_Wah!"_ the boy yelped in surprise, looking as though he'd just seen a ghost.

"Whoa, easy, now, I mean you no harm," Saturos spat bitterly, never having needed to say anything so stupid in his life. "I need to ask you something."

"_G-Get away from me!"_ the boy scrambled to get away, but Saturos acted quicker and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt.

"How rude," the Proxian chuckled, watching the boy squirm in his grip, "I am simply a lost traveler trying to find my way."

"_You scaly, blue freak! You can't just come up and harass people like this!"_ the boy shouted as he flailed around. _"I won't give in, not even to someone as powerful as…holy crap, you're Saturos!"_

The smirk on said warrior's face deepened as he heard his own name. "Ah, so you've heard of me, eh? How flattering, but I appear to have missed your name."

Unfortunately, the boy simply stared in fear at the muscular warrior, unable do anything but squeak out Saturos' and Menardi's names.

"Fine, boy, I won't pester your name out of you," Saturos cackled, tossing the boy onto the grass. "Just answer my questions and you'll be on your way. What land is this? Where do you hail from? What are these strange carts whizzing past us doing?"

It seemed that the boy had regained his ability to speak, but he shuffled away from Saturos before he said anything. _"L-Land? Hail from? What kind of weird questions are these?!"_

Saturos gave the boy a puzzled look and glanced up to where Menardi was still seated on the grass. She appeared to be mesmerized by the carts still, so he shook his head and faced the boy again.

"Look, just answer my questions, alright?!" he growled, growing impatient with the boy in front of him. "And stop speaking in italics! It makes it look like you're thinking instead of talking!"

"_This is how I always talk, though!"_ the boy countered. _"Who are you to start telling me what to do? If you'd organise your damn thoughts a bit better, then maybe I could answer your questions and get the hell out of here!"_

What an impudent little punk, speaking out against the mighty Saturos! No one had ever shown such insolence to him! Why, if he didn't need this stupid kid to answer his questions, he'd burn him to a crisp right now!

"Listen, kid, I'll ignore the fact that you talk in italics, spell your verbs with S's instead of Z's, and even look past the fact that you just spoke out against me, but I swear to Sol that I will kill you if you piss me off again! Now, tell me, how did you know who we were?!"

"_Because you're the villains in the first Golden Sun game. I'll admit that this is some of the best cosplay I've ever seen, but you don't have to act like an asshole."_

This kid was really starting to get on Saturos' nerves, and he resolved that he would kill him once all his questions were answered. A nice casting of Eruption should do the trick. It might be overkill for a pipsqueak like him, but this is Saturos we're talking about: he doesn't give a rat's ass about stuff like that! And what was this "game" he spoke of? Saturos' life was not a game!

"Fine, next question: what land is this?"

"_It's not Weyard, I'll tell you that," _the boy said sarcastically, standing to his feet while brushing off a bit of dirt. _"Anyway, aren't you supposed to be dead? Prox will be fine without you, so just go die already."_

Okay, this kid was definitely going to get a Supernova from Menardi as well. No one speaks to the great Saturos like this and lives to tell the tale! Moreover, this random brat seemed to know too much about them, and it was likely that he knew a lot more than he was letting on.

"Answer my question before I lose my patience! I said "what land is this", not "where aren't we"! I swear I will kill you if you continue this blatant disrespect!" he snarled, brandishing a small knife he kept concealed.

The blade of the knife suddenly lit up in flames, and the boy immediately looked fearful again. Saturos grinned at the sight of his fear-stricken victim and took a menacing step towards him.

"_D-Don't kill me! There's so much I have left to do! I never had the chance to finish writing all my stories or meet Tem in person or tell GengaJupite that his fluff is ridiculous in a semi-intriguing sort of way!"_

"Stop babbling and answer the damn question before I roast your insides! Tell me where we are!"

As Saturos raised his weapon to strike (since he had no intention of letting this kid live after he answered the question), he suddenly found his eyes stinging from having something thrown in his eyes. Crying out in anger, the muscular warrior dropped his knife and wiped what appeared to be a bunch of clovers from his face. When he was able to see straight, he looked to see that the boy had already run too far for the Proxian to cast psynergy on him.

"_We're in Ireland, bitch!"_ the boy laughed as he sped off into the distance.

Saturos screamed out in anger, stamping at the ground and burning all the grass around him. If only he hadn't wasted his and Menardi's weapons, then he would have been able to gut that brat when he had the chance.

"Saturos," he heard Menardi say, and looked to see her walking up to him.

"I swear, if I ever find out who that little shit was, I'll melt his eyeballs out before I kill him slowly!" he panted, wiping some of the froth from his mouth.

"Well, you might just have the chance if you can figure out what this is supposed to mean," Menardi said, handing him a small slip of paper. "That kid dropped it in front of me when he ran past."

Saturos instantly snatched the paper away, but the words written on it only fueled his anger further. He burned the small slip instantly, but the words stayed implanted in his mind.

"I'll kill that kid if it's the last thing I do!" he roared dramatically into the heavens with his fists held above his head in a way that almost begged it to be a movie scene where the camera zooms out from where the two of them were standing. And from that point on, Saturos used those words written on the paper to begin his search for the boy.

_Nice death threats, bro,_

_Your pal,_

_Droory_

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Lol, so I've never written anything even vaguely resembling this, and I'm not expecting a ton of positive feedback, so go ahead and rip this story apart if you want. All I wanted to do in this first oneshot was have a little fun.

**Droory**, since I'm almost certain you'll read this, I hope you weren't offended or put off by the fact that I included you without asking. At first the boy in the story really was going to be just some generic person with Golden Sun knowledge, but I figured it would be funnier to make it you. Everything I wrote about the situation might have been stereotypical (like the place being really green and you throwing clovers at Saturos [if it's any consolation, I decided against making you smack him over the head with an empty beer mug]), but, hey, all for the sake of shameless comedy, and I wouldn't be the least bit upset if you decided to make fun of me in the future. Also, I'll apologize if you're OOC, since I don't know you, like, at all…

Anyway, this story is in no way serious or meant to reflect my writing technique. This is also a series of oneshots, and I'm thinking the next one will be Isaac and Garet. Don't worry, it's not going to be a series where they all end up on Earth or something, and since they're all oneshots, the plots of each one are unrelated to each other (unless stated otherwise).

Thanks for reading and let me know what you thought in your reviews! I know **Droory** will :P

_-GengaJupite_


	2. G-I: The Land of Present

I think I've taken long enough to start on the next installment in this, so here it is, the second oneshot!

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_G-I: The Land of Present_

Boredom. Bore dumb.

Was there any better way to describe how Garet was feeling? Probably not, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out a way to stop feeling so bored. Slumped in his chair, he watched the figure of his sleeping best friend.

Colosso had just ended, and Isaac was named the victor after defeating some knight guy. Azart? Satrage? Navampa? Who cared, they all lost, so it didn't matter which one was defeated last. All the mattered was that Isaac had kicked some serious ass out there, but then he passed out from exhaustion.

Garet, Ivan, and Mia had all rushed to make sure he was okay, and it was a huge relief for all of them when they discovered that he was simply asleep. Now, however, they had been sitting in a room for Mars knew how long, and Garet was getting fed up with waiting for his buddy to wake up.

"Guys, he might be asleep until tomorrow," Garet tried to make his case. "Can't we just go and have some fun while all the booths and stuff are still set up?"

"Garet, you're terrible!" Mia scolded him. "Your best friend is recovering from numerous fierce trials, and you want to go out and play?!"

"Well…yeah," he answered dumbly, earning a nice bop on the head from the healer's staff.

"Look, this might not be the most exciting thing, but we should all be here when he wakes up, right?" she argued.

"I wasn't planning on ditching you guys!" Garet rubbed his head where she had hit him. "I just wanted to kill the time!"

"Mia," Ivan said before the two opposing adepts could continue their argument, "not that I completely agree with Garet's reasoning, but I don't think having all of us sit around waiting for him to wake up is helping any. If it's all right, how about we take turns keeping watch on Isaac? I can go out with Garet for now, and then we'll alternate."

Mia crossed her arms and defiantly sat in the chair next to Isaac's bed. "Hmph, fine, do whatever you want. _I'll_ make sure he's got someone here for him when he gets up."

The two guys glanced at each other before making an awkward exit from the room. Once they were out of there, the two of them ran for the palace's entrance as quickly as they could.

"You slimy bastard," Garet laughed, shoving the younger boy as they ran, "pinning that crap on me! You wanted to leave just as badly as I did!"

Ivan grinned mischievously, dodging a hit from Garet. "Haha, it's called strategy, Garet. I figured you would get bored the fastest, so I just had to wait until you said something about it. In the case that you didn't, all I would have to do is whisper a few little things into Mia's subconscious and she would have let us go anyway."

"Whoa, you can do that?" asked the taller boy. "Oh, that's right I owe you money, don't I?"

"Heh, what for?"

"Well, for that time I… Hey wait a sec, you just did it to me, you snake! Oh, you're so in for it, Ivan!"

Laughing, the two of them raced out of the corridors, ducking around the guards and eventually bursting out the front doors in a heap of laughter. They were finally free from the gilded prison that Mia had locked them in. Ah, how nice the fresh air felt on their faces.

"What's her deal, anyway?" Garet asked once the boys had caught their breath and stepped into the main square.

"Who, Mia?" Ivan inquired.

"Yeah, I mean, what's it matter if we aren't all there when he wakes up? He could have woken up when one of us went to the bathroom, or in the middle of the night when we're all asleep, right?"

Ivan thought for a moment, though it didn't take him very long to make a deduction. "She's probably fallen for him," he chuckled brightly. "She always seems to make a big deal when he gets hurt and stuff, but it's not the same for us."

"Lucky us," Garet grumbled, thinking it unfair that Isaac should get special treatment from a beautiful babe when he already had Jenna. "Well, whatever, I didn't come here to mope, I came to have fun!"

"Hehe, really? You _came_?"

Garet grinned and shoved the little troublemaker into a group of rather scantily clad women at that. "You're a dirty little pervert, Ivan."

Embarrassed by where he was, Ivan, blushing, bounded away from the boisterous band of bubbly, big-boobed bimbos to catch up to his bumbling buddy.

"You asshole," he groaned, attempting to shove the Mars adept, but failing in his attempt.

"Heh, come on, then," Garet chortled, non-homosexually slinging an arm over the younger boy's shoulders. "We should try out that Lucky Dice tent. We could probably make a fortune, right?"

"We'll see," Ivan said, shrugging as the two of them walked into the tent.

Lifting the flap, the two of them entered to see a rather ordinary group of people trying their hand at the dice game. The rules were simple enough, so the boys didn't need to read them when they walked up to one of the tables.

"What's yer wager, fellas?" said the dealer. Well, technically he wasn't a dealer, but he kept all the dice for each table to make sure there were no cheaters with loaded dice.

"Ivan, how much money do you have?" Garet nudged him.

Ivan pulled out a small pouch from beneath his tunic, and weighed it in each of his hands. "Uh…probably about 1300 coins with me, how about-"

"1300 coins, good sir!" Garet announced, snatching the bag from Ivan's hand and lobbing it towards the man.

"Heh, good luck, boys," said the die-holder, handing Garet a couple of dice and stepping to the side to let him toss.

"Garet, what the hell, you just bet all _my_ money!" Ivan whined, punching the flame user in the side. He didn't seem to care or even notice, however.

"Relax, as long as I get one pair we don't lose any money," he chuckled, thoughtlessly tossing the dice onto the numbered table.

"Double!" announced the die-holder, handing the dice back to Garet.

"Alright, buddy, let's try and double up!" Garet cheered, shaking the dice in his hands. "Ivan, blow for good luck."

"That's a chick's job," Ivan groaned, crossing his arms and looking the other way.

"Heh, fine, but it's your fault if I don't get a pair on this," Garet laughed, tossing the dice across the table.

"Double!"

This continued for a while, and Garet was doing about as well as anyone might expect. Every now and then, he would get a triple, which earned them twice what they had bet, but it would usually be followed shortly after by nothing, resulting in losing the money he'd just earned.

"Garet, this isn't getting us anywhere," Ivan said, realizing they'd been gone for a while now and hadn't won any more money than they'd started with.

"Next triple and we leave, okay?" the Mars adept said rather offhandedly as he tossed the dice again. "Damn, another double."

"Looks like you boys are having some trouble," hissed a raspy voice.

Both adepts turned to see a cloaked man standing a short distance away from their table. The hood concealed his face, but his eyes seemed to glow through the shadow over his features. Other than his glowing eyes, however, fabric covered every inch of his body.

"Perhaps you'd like a take a turn at this table," he hissed, indicating a rather ominous-looking table with dimmer lighting near it for dramatic effect. It should be noted that this particular table was also located in a corner with spiderwebs and a purple glow that made it seem all the more suspicious.

"Thanks, but we're fine here," Garet said, tossing the dice again. "Dammit, I need a triple here!"

"What's a triple when you could have a quadruple?" cackled the mysterious man.

"Please, what makes your table and dice any different?" Ivan argued. "Our odds would be exactly the same over in that dimly lit, somewhat dangerous-looking table."

"Oh, but they aren't, for you see my table has had the highest success rate of all for people making their fortune. In fact," he said, reaching behind the table he was advertising, "I'll give you this much if you should happen to roll a quadruple, along with another special prize."

With that, the raspy man that clearly did not work there but was not interfering with the business of the actual staff, thereby causing them to leave him be, pulled forth an enormous sack of coins that clinked as he dropped it in front of him.

The sound of all that gold perked up Garet's ears, and he quickly averted his gaze from the regular table to the strange man. Ivan, however, sensed something was wrong, and held out an arm before Garet could foolishly stroll over and take him up on the offer.

"Okay, so you'll give us some ridiculous amount if we win, but what happens if we lose?" questioned the fifteen-year-old.

"Exactly what would happen at that table you're playing at now: I take your money and you leave, simple as that."

"I don't trus-"

"Sounds good to me, let's have at it!" Garet agreed, snatching the money pouch from the normal die-holder and handing it to this clearly mysterious one.

Try as he might, Ivan was unable to stop his idiotic friend from getting them into trouble, so he simply stood by, eyeing the enigmatic figure cautiously as Garet rolled double after double. If need be, the young adept was ready to relinquish his weapon and take down this fiend.

"Garet, I think we should stop," Ivan said, causing the man's white teeth to glint in the shadow of his cloak, "like, now."

"One last toss, I promise," Garet said, furiously shaking the dice in his hands as if it might help. "I swear, if I get nothing on this roll, I'll give you 1300 gold right out of my savings."

"That's not the point," Ivan said, narrowing his eyes as the figure began raising his hands in front of his sternum. "Something's not right here, we should leave."

"Relax, I've got this. Come on, QUADRUUUUUUUPLE!"

Ivan fastened his grip around the handle of his rapier as he watched the dice bounce along the table. Time seemed to slow as he watched them hop along in unison. Garet would definitely get a double, since the dice would land on the same number.

One die stopped where it was. It was a four and it landed on the 'four' marker. _There's the double,_ Ivan thought to himself. The next one hadn't landed yet, but was spinning on the 'four' marker. _Triple. His grip tightened on the handle as…wait, why am I thinking out the narration?_ Ivan's grip tightened as the die began to slow its rotations. It was inevitable; Garet was about to win the jackpot.

Four.

"YEEEAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA! Ivan, we're rich! Filthy, stinkin' rich!" Garet cheered as he looked at the four fours he'd just scored.

"Garet, your weapon! This guy's up to something!" Ivan ordered, taking note of the purple glow surrounding the cloaked man's body.

"Hehe, very good. As promised, the money is yours, and here's your special gift! See you in the future!"

Before either adept could react, a powerful blast of what felt like psynergy hit them, shooting out from the strange man's palms and powering through their bodies. Their bodies became light as air, and Garet watched as his and Ivan's legs slowly began disintegrating upwards. Powerless to stop it, he growled in vain as they steadily disappeared from the world…

黄金の太陽 – 黄金の太陽 – 黄金の太陽

Garet opened his eyes when he was able to feel the weight of his own body again. Glancing around, he couldn't quite describe what he was seeing. Where was he? The place almost looked like Tolbi…except there was something different about it. Massive buildings that appeared to reach the very heavens pierced the sky. He'd never seen a building with so many windows before. It looked so…shiny.

"Whoa!" he heard Ivan yelp as a man on some kind of two-wheeled contraption whizzed by.

"Watch where you're goin', asshole!" the guy shouted back.

"Garet, what's going on?! Where are we?!"

"I…I dunno," he said dryly, staring down at the ground. "This place looks like…Tolbi, but different."

"What did that guy say to us before we ended up here?" Ivan said while he tried to keep a cool head. "See you in the future?"

Both boys looked at each other, then to the large sack of money at their feet, then to the cityscape, and then back to each other. They both had looks of disbelief on their faces, unable to speak due to the unknown surroundings. Everything seemed so familiar, yet it all looked so different…so futuristic.

"Ivan, read someone's mind, quick!" Garet shouted.

"I'm on it," Ivan confirmed, searching for someone to read the mind of. In truth, there were tons of people around, but he was searching for someone who wasn't walking away.

Eventually he saw a man that appeared to be from their time. He wore dirty clothes, and had a rather admirable beard to match his rugged appearance. Why, by the look of this man resting on a blanket in the middle of this walking path, he must be a seasoned adventure like themselves!

Cautiously approaching the adventurer of this world, Ivan focused his mind on this guy's thoughts.

"_Oh, yeah, just a few more bucks an' I'll be the hardest hustler in all of Tolbi! Gotta get me some more rock, but when I do, all them hoes'll be linin' up to be my bitches!"_

Ivan recoiled a bit, stumbling back to where Garet was standing. What sort of language was that man speaking? Bucks, rock, and hoes? Was this man a farmer of some sort? What would he be doing with male deer, rocks, and gardening tools?

"Garet, I think we need to find someone else. That adventurer was talking crazy-like, and I hardly understood a word he was thinking!"

Frantically racing around, the two boys found an open area with large signs plastered along the sides of buildings and on the roofs of others. Some seemed to be for some sort of product or other that neither boy had heard of nor could understand, but many of them had one thing that made them feel hopeful.

_**COLOSSO 2013!**_

"Well, we're definitely in Tolbi," Garet said, glancing at his short companion. "Should we check out the Colosso Tournament of the future?"

Without hesitation, Ivan smacked Garet across the face and glared at him. "You idiot! We can't waste time checking out tourist attractions, we need to figure out how the hell to get back!"

"Geez, calm yourself. I just thought it might be cool to check out the futuristic battles and stuff…"

"Hey, you two!" they heard a voice call out. Both boys turned to see a large man approaching them. They both had to stifle a laugh as they looked at his disproportionate body: his upper body was huge, but he had chicken legs!

"_Legs, not even once,"_ Ivan whispered mentally into Garet's mind. The Mars adept elbowed his companion in the side as he bit his lip to stop from laughing.

"_Bro, does he even lift?" _Garet sent a thought back to Ivan, causing the younger boy to stomp on his companion's foot as he chewed on his tongue.

"You two are competin' ain't ya?" growled the triangular-shaped man. "Otherwise ya wouldn't be dressed up all goofy an' stuff, yeah?"

"Competing?" Ivan asked, seemingly forgetting about their rather dire situation. "What would we be competing in?"

The musclehead looked at Ivan confusedly, glancing at Garet as well before turning back to the Jupiter adept. "What, is ya stupid or somethin'?" he asked ironically. "Fer Colosso, idiot!"

Upon hearing those words, Garet suddenly got a glint in his eye that basically screamed "Colosso? Damn right, we're competing!"

"Colosso? Damn right, we're competing!" Garet exclaimed, thereby rendering the previous paragraph redundant, but also proving its correctness. But seriously, what was the point of having both of those? I mean, he could have easily said it and it wouldn't matter if we knew what the glint in his eye meant, right? Hell, we wouldn't even have to know that his eye glinted! How does an eye glint, anyway? Seems like it would have to have a light shined into it, and anyone who's been to an optometrist knows how unpleasant that is.

"Not now, narrator, go back to narrating!" Ivan interrupted, rudely cutting off the extremely relevant thoughts of the attractive narrator, while also breaking the fourth wall and ruining the moment. He forgets, however, that the narrator is able to make the situation whatever he so chooses. Narrators often hold terrible grudges, you know.

"Aight, sounds cool!" cheered the walking biceps, gesturing for the two of them to follow him to the colosseum.

"Garet, what were you thinking?" Ivan whined like the whiny little prick that he is, voice cracking on every second syllable because he's a preadolescent with small genitalia. "We're trying to get out of here!"

"Look, we ended up here because of Colosso, so if we go back, maybe we'll find a way out of here," Garet reasoned, causing his young companion to feel humiliated at being outsmarted by the supposed 'dumb one' of their quartet of adepts. In fact, Ivan was so embarrassed that he apologized and blushed, making all the girls around laugh at him.

"Fine, but let me handle the talking from here on out," Ivan warned stupidly. The two of them jogged a bit to catch up to the bodybuilder, Ivan tripping and falling on his face multiple times as they did so.

It was an odd spectacle to behold when the three men reached the arena. From the outside, it almost looked as though the ancient colosseum from the adepts' time had been preserved in its original state, making it stand out tremendously in this futuristic city.

"Heh, sorry fer draggin' ya here so quick," the muscular guy apologized sheepishly. "The battles don't actually start fer another few hours. Ya can check out the awards museum just over there if ya feel like killin' some time."

Thanking the man, Ivan nudged Garet to get his attention, but hit his funnybone against the Mars adept's armour in the process. "Garet, maybe we can find something from our time in that museum! It might help us get back!"

"Yeah, and we can also see Isaac's name on the list of champions!" Garet cheered. Ivan sighed at Garet's lack of focus, but no one seemed to care, since seeing their best friend's name on a list that dates back to whenever Golden Sun took place would be badass.

The two boys made their way to the museum that was only about a block away from the colosseum. Garet immediately sped over to the large, stone tablet of names that took up an entire wall. It seemed odd that they still engraved the names of champions into the stone after all these years, but perhaps some traditions are better left unchanged. Running his finger along the stone, Garet found Isaac's name surprisingly close to the beginning of the tablet. It looked as though Colosso was something that Babi had started, so it made sense that Isaac was one of the first champions. Some thirty or forty years later, the name "Matthew" was engraved, but Garet doesn't know who that is yet, so he ignored it like any other name on the list.

Meanwhile, Ivan pranced about the museum like a sissy, skipping along as he examined things that his intuition incorrectly told him might help to get the two of them back. He was so engrossed by his own fallacy that he nearly missed a large map that showed the general area of Tolbi they were in.

"Wow," the boy gaped at the map as if it were some kind of ancient artifact and not just a regular map like everyone knows it is. "It looks like the castle has been preserved too! It probably wouldn't hurt to take a look up there. Doesn't look like they listed off the Lucky Dice tent, though." Obviously not, Ivan, maps aren't meant to show things like that.

After they had finished their brief time in the museum, Ivan showed Garet the way to head towards the palace. Agreeing that that would be the next best step in their journey to get back home, the two boys marched towards the exit so they could begin their walk to the preserved castle. On the way out, Ivan had to be patted down for a random security check, and the guard laughed at Ivan's pathetic muscular build. It should be noted that the guard is an anemic girl, which embarrassed Ivan even further. How she got a job as a security guard is not the point.

When they reached the castle, both boys gaped in relief as they were met with a familiar sight. A bug happened to fly into Ivan's mouth while his was open, and he choked on it. A bird also flew by and shat on his head, to which everyone said it was good luck to make him feel better, even though it isn't.

"It's weird," Garet began gazing around at the familiar castle interior, "we've only been in the future for a short while, but it's almost nostalgic to see this place again."

"I'd usually call you out on something like that, but I feel the exact same way," Ivan said without realizing the slightly homosexual connotation of his words.

"Heh, you know what we should do?" Garet chuckled, turning to the wind user. "We should check out that room that Isaac was passed out in. I bet Mia left us a really angry note since she thinks we've been out having fun for, like, a thousand years."

"While I don't agree with your logic, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to go check out that room in case she left us a clue or something on how to get back."

With that, the two boys ventured off down the many halls they'd just recently been running through countless years ago. While that sounds strange to say, it's true when dealing with time travel and the like. Garet's feelings of nostalgia built as they headed closer and closer to the room. Each stone tile brought up memories of their partially completed journey, and it made him want to go back. Perhaps Ivan's plan to head back right away was smart, though the narrator would never admit so.

The door creaked open, but it seemed as though no one had entered the room in quite some time, and it was strangely chilly. It was pitch black, despite the halls just outside being lit, so Garet quickly lit the torches around the room in an overly cinematic display of fire that would put professional firework shows to shame.

With all the torches lit, both boys gasped at the sight that beheld them, and another bug flew into Ivan's mouth, and a bird flew out of nowhere to crap on his head again. The room was completely frozen over, ice covering everything around except for the torches. The very sight of the chilly spectacle instantly gave Ivan the flu, to which he collapsed on the ground over because he has a weak immune system.

As Garet stepped into the room, ignoring his collapsed friend and melting the ice with each step, he stopped gawking when he noticed one section of the room in particular. The fact that it had been frozen over wasn't by pure coincidence, not that any sort of coincidence would have made this happen, but the answer was literally staring him straight in the face.

"I-Ivan," Garet stuttered, regretting having lit the numerous torches that were rapidly melting the ice, "I-I think we should get out of here!"

Before he could make his getaway, however, the ice suddenly melted, flooding the room slightly, which caused Ivan to nearly drown. Garet tried to move, but the water around his feet suddenly froze, and, try as he might to melt it, the sheer amount of his opposing element in this room was far too great.

"Ehehe," Garet chuckled, scratching at the back of his head, "Mia, what a pleasant surprise. Cool trick with the flash freezing and all. I didn't realize you cou-"

_*Slap*_

Because his feet were frozen, Garet toppled over in the water, crushing Ivan beneath him as he fell. The Mars adept rubbed at his red cheek as he glanced back up at the glaring Mercury adept. He had never seen the healer look so angry before, and it was slightly unnerving to see her in such a state.

"You. Jerks!" Mia screamed, encasing both boys' bodies in water and freezing them so that only their faces weren't frozen.

"It's s-s-s-so c-c-cold. M-M-Mia, we're s-s-s-sorry," Garet chattered, his entire ice block trembling from his shivers.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Garet!" Mia argued, walking over to Isaac and hoisting him up with all her strength. Though she was noticeably having trouble, the two frozen boys were in no position to laugh at her. "You're going to stay here and think about what you've done! I flash froze both of your bodies, so you won't age or need food or anything, but you two are going to be conscious for the next thousand years or so, depending on when someone comes back for you."

As she strode over to the door, Garet beckoned to her. "M-M-Mia, p-please w-w-w-wait!"

Unfortunately for him, she wasn't willing to listen, so Garet could do nothing but watch as she awkwardly wobbled out of the room with Isaac in tow.

"Have fun," she said sarcastically before extinguishing the torches and shutting the door, leaving the two of them to stay in darkness for the next immeasurable amount of time.

"I-Ivan," Garet chattered, hoping his companion hadn't died from his illness yet.

"Y-Yeah?" the Jupiter adept answered, realizing that there was little else worse that could go wrong at this point.

"I-I think th-the moral of all th-this is n-n-not to g-g-gamble and b-b-be greedy."

With that, the two of them didn't say another word for all eternity. The narrator watched on as the two of them lay there, frozen in darkness. Garet was incorrect, however, for there was no real moral to this story. If there was, then I was unaware, and now need to find a way to end this story on a note that isn't so abrupt.

Ivan died first. The end.

* * *

Well, that was an extreme bout of ridiculousness, but I'm tired and I just wanted to get this finished before I go to bed. Think I was trying too hard to be funny? Probably, but if it worked, then it doesn't matter, does it? No, it doesn't.

Oh, I have nothing against Ivan; this is just how the story turned out as I was writing it.

Anyway, Droory and I have discussed a few ideas I could use for this series, but I haven't decided what the next one will be yet. Guess you'll just have to wait and see.

Thanks to **Droory, Guest, **and** afreakin'wallcrab** for reviewing!

_-GengaJupite_


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